The Song Nobody Asked Her to Lead

Chapter 1One Familiar Song

Mrs. Perl asked Suri to start the singing at the girls' class gathering.

"Choose something familiar. The whole class should be able to join."

They would meet in the Bais Yaakov assembly room on Wednesday afternoon. There would be refreshments, a short game, and songs before dismissal.

Suri loved singing. She knew when to hold a note and when to let it end. Her mother sometimes asked her to start a song at their girls' family gatherings.

"I can do that," she told Mrs. Perl.

On the way home, she chose a song the class had sung many times.

Then she thought of a quieter beginning, a longer pause, and a different way to finish the chorus.

By supper she had changed the familiar song into something she was eager to show them.

Chapter 2A Better Beginning

On Tuesday, Suri tried the new beginning with her friend Rochel in an empty classroom. Mrs. Perl was working nearby.

Rochel began to join on the second line.

Suri lifted her hand.

"Wait. I hold this part longer."

Rochel stopped.

Suri finished the line and began the chorus. Rochel came in where she expected it, but Suri had put in a pause.

Their voices bumped into each other.

"I'll give a little sign," Suri said.

"For every part?"

"Just until you know it."

Rochel looked at the empty desks.

"Mrs. Perl said something we already know."

"They know the words."

Suri sang the beginning once more. Rochel listened.

That felt much tidier than singing together had.

Chapter 3The Circle of Chairs

On Wednesday the girls moved their chairs into a circle. Mrs. Perl sat near the door, her hair fully covered by a dark brown sheitel.

After the game, she nodded to Suri.

"Would you start us?"

Suri stood beside her chair.

She began softly, holding the first note the way she had practiced. Several girls joined at the usual place.

Suri raised her hand.

They stopped.

She made the pause longer, then began the chorus. Two girls started with her. Others waited, watching her hand.

The song went round the room unevenly. Near the end Suri added the new finish.

Most of the girls stopped before she did.

Her last note was clear. It was also alone.

Chapter 4The Quiet Afterward

When Suri sat down, Rochel reached for her cup.

"That was pretty," another girl said.

Suri smiled. Then Mrs. Perl asked who would choose the next song.

A girl across the circle named one everyone knew. She started it without changing the beginning.

The room filled with voices. Some were soft, some strong. One girl came in late and found her place on the next line.

Suri joined too.

It was less tidy than the version she had practiced. It also had twenty-seven people inside it instead of people waiting at the edge.

Suri noticed Rochel singing without looking for a signal.

She looked down at her empty cup.

Chapter 5What the Job Was

Afterward Suri helped Mrs. Perl put away the chairs.

"Was my song too different?"

Mrs. Perl set a chair against the wall.

"It was hard for the class to join. What did I ask you to do?"

"Start the singing."

"And choose?"

"Something familiar."

Suri turned her chair so its legs lined up with the others.

"I wanted it to sound good."

"It could sound good with everyone singing."

"I thought they would follow me."

Mrs. Perl nodded.

"You made a version they had to learn by watching you. That is a different job."

Suri wanted to say she could sing it again and show them properly. She waited long enough to hear what was wrong with that answer.

The class gathering wasn't waiting to become her practice lesson.

Chapter 6Rochel's Part

The next day Suri found Rochel before class.

"I'm sorry I stopped you on Tuesday. You were singing the song we knew. I changed it and expected you to follow."

Rochel put her book on the desk.

"I wasn't sure whether you wanted me to sing or listen."

"I think I wanted you to listen."

Saying it was uncomfortable. It was more accurate than pretending the hand signal had been for Rochel's benefit.

"There could be a time for that," Rochel said.

"Yes. But not when everyone is supposed to join."

Rochel opened her book.

"I like the usual way."

"So do I. I forgot that yesterday."

They sat down when Mrs. Perl came in. Suri didn't ask Rochel to say she hadn't minded.

Chapter 7Another Beginning

Two weeks later, the class sang again at the end of a gathering. Mrs. Perl asked Suri whether she would like to start.

"Yes. The regular way."

Suri chose the same familiar song.

Before beginning she gave one simple signal, enough to start together. Then she sat with the circle and sang at the pace the class knew.

She heard a girl's voice tremble on the high note. She heard another girl sing it lower. She didn't stop either of them.

At the chorus, the voices came in together without needing to watch her hands.

Suri could still hear the more polished version in her head. She let the shared one continue.

The last note wasn't hers alone this time.

Chapter 8Two Ways to Sing

At home, Suri kept practicing the version she had invented.

She hadn't decided it was bad. It needed a different invitation.

On Sunday, when Rochel came over and their mothers were in the next room, Suri asked a question before beginning.

"Would you like to hear the version I worked on, or shall we sing together?"

"Together first," Rochel said.

"All right."

They sang the familiar song. Afterward Rochel asked to hear the other one.

Suri sang it, and Rochel listened because she had chosen to listen.

Neither version needed to win. One was something Suri had made. The other was something they shared.

Now she knew to ask which sort of song they were beginning.